Friday, November 1, 2019

Choose words with care: Words can create reality!

Choose words with care: Words can create reality!

"The limits of my language are the limits of my world": - Ludwig Wittgenstein.

The words or the Language we use in our day to day life may give evidence on what kind of person we are. What we say creates certainty or uncertainty. Be aware of what words that help us feel confident, empowered and satisfied. Be mindful of the words that steal our confidence and create uncertainty. Observing our words will help us in managing our thoughts which may help us in maintaining our mood and then the further action.

See the difference between what happens when a person says "I am a failure" instead of saying I have failed cupule of times". This Language may alter our emotion, and further, it influences our action. The process of world construction is psychological; it takes place in the head. People can care their words and use it wisely by deliberate decisions which may help us in making our life in a better way in terms of enhancing self as well as enhancing the interpersonal relationship.

When a reporter asked Thomas Edison how it felt to fail 2000 times before successfully inventing the light bulb, he said, "I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000 step process." The key is the meaning he gave to failure. Some women are leaving their careers to raise kids to describe this choice as a "sacrifice" others an "investment in their children". The difference in words is reflected in their fulfilment in the role they have chosen. We have unlimited options on how we describe our day: awful, bad, ok, good, excellent, extraordinary. How often is a day all terrible or all terrific? Not often. How we describe our day impacts how we feel. Using overly dramatic words can increase stress and uncertainty. 

The economy can be described as devastating or depressing. Others use challenging, exciting or opportunistic. What's the difference in mindset? Some may argue it's ignoring the reality of the economy, but how we feel and our mindset leads to our actions. Calling the economy depressing may lead to immobility, calling the economy opportunistic has led some to take action and start a new business. Taking action changes our circumstances.

Words and Language create our mental world. Examining the Language that we use allows us to take ownership of the story being written. "We are swimming, all of us, in an ocean of stories, interpretations, explanations, and beliefs," says Brothers. "All of which live in Language, and a great majority of which we have long since forgotten that we have authored. Some, absolutely do not take us today, and will not take us today, where we say we want to go. But we have the authority and ability to change them, decrease them, transcend them, and let them go."

Language use is an acvt of creation. Speaking alters physical space by creating a sound wave that moves through the air. Writing with a pen or pencil alters the physical material being written on. Digital language changes the values of computer bits from 0s to 1s or vice versa. Those physical transformations have power.

Language is how we give meaning to our life situations, ourselves and our future. What we say creates certainty or uncertainty. Be aware of what words that help we feel confident empowered and satisfied. Be aware of the words that steal our confidence and create uncertainty. Choose words to get the results we want. 

The language usage can be explained in the context of Solution-Focused Psychology or widely known as Solution Focused Approach. Its applications are used in many different settings like counselling, education, management, coaching etc.

Application of Solution Focused Approach enables people to build desirable change in their lives in the shortest possible time. It believes that change comes from encouraging people to use solution-focused languages or useful words by asking useful questions that are focused on desired future change. From these descriptions, people can make adjustments to what they do in their lives. 

A problem-focused Language is one such, usually incorporating negative Language and useless words that suggest the permanence of a problem or difficulty in a person. A solution-focused language, in contrast, is often more positive, hopeful, and future-focused, and suggests the transience of the issues. A distinction was made between 'problem talk' and 'solution talk', in that 'problem talk belongs to the problem itself and is not part of the solution'. On the other hand, 'as two people talk more and more about the solution they want to construct together, they come to believe in the truth or reality of what they are talking about. This is the way language works, naturally'.

By focusing our attention on a few words or situations each day, we can gradually, word by word, transform both the way we think and the way our ideas manifest in the world. 

Below mentioned three steps might help us to increase certainty: 

Step one: Be careful of the words we use in our conversation with others as well as self (internally and especially I am Language). 
Step two: See how we can change the Language or words to solution-focused (Eg: - Say "I have failed cupule of times" instead of saying "I am a failure")
Step three: Create a description of a vision statement for our desired future. 

"We can only know what a word means by, how the other person in the conversation uses it": - Steve de Shazer.

Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) Training

Do you know that a therapeutic conversation can also be a self-care conversation for the therapist? One of the unique features of Solution F...